But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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