I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
