Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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