I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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