Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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