If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
