I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
