I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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