He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
