I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize