it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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