i already hear my dad disowning me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
