at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
