I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize