Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
