Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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