I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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