im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
