Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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