Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
