I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish I only lived at night.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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