I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
