did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
