"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
