if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
