Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
