Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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