sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He kissed a someone with a penis
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
