hell yes lets make some ravioli
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
