Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
