so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
