Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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