it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
