walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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