her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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