can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
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I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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