We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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