IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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