I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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