you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
