Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So many bounce houses so little time
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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