This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
