i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
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