just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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