Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
