TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
