oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
