guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
