There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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