it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
