another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
