yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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