i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
