Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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