before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
