I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
