It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
