i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
