The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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