Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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