yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
