Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
