It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
